Mortimer Merriweather is a man of letters – very, very funny letters. “Thoughts on golf to the Pope, Prince Andrew, Augusta and others” is the first volume of letters penned by the 19-handicapper from Kent.
Clive Agran, the ubiquitous golf journalist who knows Mortimer well, says that over the years his friend has developed a subtle appreciation of what golf has to offer, in particular a profound awareness of the spectacular scope for humour that the game presents.
The book not only includes Mortimer’s letters but also some of the replies. Sadly there is no record of what Hootie Johnson thought about the suggestion that in exchange for allowing the current Masters Champion an exemption from qualifying for Dale Hill Golf Club’s annual ‘Greenshield’ Trophy, the current Greenshield champion would receive an automatic invitation to play in the Masters, but the Head Master of Eton College clearly had Mortimer’s measure when he flatly refused to agree that golf offers a safe and civilised alternative to the Wall Game.
One is, however, less confident that the General Merchandise Manager of Harrods had given sufficient thought to the suggestion that egg-timers containing sand from the bunker at the Road Hole at St Andrews would prove a popular gift item, before signing the rejection letter which may just prove to be the low point in her merchandising career.
We remain uncertain as to whether there really is a chief patent counsel at Acushnet called ‘Troy R Lester’ but his rejection of Mortimer’s idea for a biodegradable golf ball made entirely from crushed walnut shells and shredded acorns seems somewhat abrupt.
A visit to the website http://www.peterichardsoncommunications.com/Mortimer.html will reveal a sample of Merriweather’s insight to golf course design. His suggestion to the Head of Bombing at RAF Lakenheath that trainee pilots should drop a few cluster bombs on an otherwise rather flat bit of marshland, so as create a more interesting golf layout, shows real creative flair, while his idea that, in lieu of a fee, the pilots who actually drop the bombs would receive complimentary club membership demonstrates his keen commercial talent.
To purchase a copy of ‘The Mortimer Merriweather Letters’ please send a cheque for £5.50 (inc p&p) made payable to Pete Richardson Communications Ltd, with your name and address to: Mortimer Merriweather, c/o Pete Richardson Communications Ltd,
Upper Cowgrove, Heath Farm, Heath Road East, Petersfield, Hants. GU31 4HT
United Kingdom
Trade enquiries are welcome. Please call Pete Richardson on 08700 330550 to discuss terms pete@prcpr.co.uk
‘The Mortimer Merriweather Letters’ http://www.peterichardsoncommunications.com/Mortimer.html
